Hi Jackson, I’m a mostly lurker over at SC, decided to follow you via your invite over there. Inspiring me to sit down and edit my own works later. I’m on the fence about publishing here as I want to send to some publications and get some rejections lined up. Usually if something is published already somewhere publicly they won’t even look at it.
I might follow your and others lead and just post some here.
I have some questions and a few comments.
One, how much do you know about cutting limbs off trees and stacking?
Two, how much about smoking fish?
Three,
30-racks? You have that twice, sure it’s a typo but related twice. Energy dropped.
Some general observation, I felt like a lot of your prose, particularly the longer paragraphs, would benefit from making more concise. Particularly the tree trimming section, the shopping visit, and the friend invite. I felt my energy dip in those places but overall enjoyed the direction, particularly the Heb mention. Hi, Texan as well.
I think just moving some of the paragraphs around might put more energy into the piece. And I think Gabriel’s description paragraph needs a lift.
That third to last paragraph has some confusion issues around time, you might want to take a look again.
Anyways, brave and fun exploring, reminds me of something I’m working on about an outsider type as well, an extension and expansion of an iteration of some folks I know and adapting their voice and character into a fictionalized scenario.
I read this while eating smoked trout. Today I fired a guy because bitches etc
Lmaooooo Gabriel what a guy. He knows how to have a good time
Hi Jackson, I’m a mostly lurker over at SC, decided to follow you via your invite over there. Inspiring me to sit down and edit my own works later. I’m on the fence about publishing here as I want to send to some publications and get some rejections lined up. Usually if something is published already somewhere publicly they won’t even look at it.
I might follow your and others lead and just post some here.
I have some questions and a few comments.
One, how much do you know about cutting limbs off trees and stacking?
Two, how much about smoking fish?
Three,
30-racks? You have that twice, sure it’s a typo but related twice. Energy dropped.
Some general observation, I felt like a lot of your prose, particularly the longer paragraphs, would benefit from making more concise. Particularly the tree trimming section, the shopping visit, and the friend invite. I felt my energy dip in those places but overall enjoyed the direction, particularly the Heb mention. Hi, Texan as well.
I think just moving some of the paragraphs around might put more energy into the piece. And I think Gabriel’s description paragraph needs a lift.
That third to last paragraph has some confusion issues around time, you might want to take a look again.
Anyways, brave and fun exploring, reminds me of something I’m working on about an outsider type as well, an extension and expansion of an iteration of some folks I know and adapting their voice and character into a fictionalized scenario.
Hey Wayne, thanks for taking the time to read and share some thoughts. Very helpful stuff!
Glad it is helpful, was worried how it would land. I've been known to be more dismissive (old chef habit). Will continue to read when I have time. ;)